a work in progress

long overdue for updates and a blog post, but again lacking motivation... so. in short:

what i like about conce:

- peace and quiet

- alone time

- rain

- the woman i always see when i go running, who is always concerned about me getting drenched in the rain

what i don't like about conce:

- too much peace and quiet

- too much alone time

- too much rain

- the old woman i always see when i go walking, who is always gesturing to her teeth and then whispering into my ear asking for money

i really should have made a venn diagram...

anyway. fuller update: i've moved to conce! i have a small room that is all mine, which means that the small corner around my mattress is now adorned with pictures and notes to keep spirits high when i get lonely. as of now it will just be me living by myself in the comedor, which means i have a ton of space and privacy, but also that if there's like, say, a dog that comes barking at me out of nowhere and i scream at the top of my lungs, no one can hear me. not that that's happened. 

naaah.

on the whole, things are going pretty well. i'm getting used to the quiet emptiness, though i would really like to make the place a little homier and friendly... working on that. i've become closer to two of the doctors, juan and wilfredo, who promise to be my new friends and sometimes will drink a beer with me (or i'll drink a beer, and they'll drink four or five).

work is rockin' as well. i've mostly wrapped up my vaccination study, and besides faltando some data collection, it seems like our rates and coverage are actually really good around here :) as a bonus, i've won over our health promoters and a few nurses in the health centers, so i'll have at least a couple allies when i start diving into my bigger children's health initiative project. i had some great conversations with suyapa and art about it, just to gauge some ideas, and will continue interviewing various people (doctors, teachers, community health leaders and volunteers, etc.) so i'm pretty excited about that.

for now, i'm back in santa lucía for the week before jetting off to antigua! it's actually really nice to be back. i knew i felt lonelier in conce, but i never realized just how much i missed my daily conversations and routines here. or perhaps it's just the familiarity, the knowledge that i can slip back and comfortably into enjoying good food, drinks, and above all, company. living among people who really understand and empathize with almost every aspect of my personality... that's something really rare, and something i will miss while in conce.

for instance, i had a really good talk with ashley last night, just about our attitudes and feelings about being here now that it's been a few weeks. it seems like our honeymoon period is starting to fade, and we're finally starting to catch up with ourselves in honduras. now that the novelty of being here is wearing off, the me-ness that used to bug me is coming back--my problem of thinking too much, of getting lost in doubts, and other little things. on top of that, it's easy to get lost here in the extreme highs and lows of each day/week. besides our projects, work, and each other, there's little else to do or think about, and i'm starting to see maybe how people here can become so completely absorbed and invested, and consequently more jaded and/or bitter. i don't know if this is a possibility for me too, but i think one struggle for me will be to keep my emotions in check. i feel like in this simple lifestyle, one could really get lost in his/her thoughts and emotions...

anyway, ashley said something last night that i really liked: the idea that we are all works in progress. that we have and will always have inherent characteristics we don't like, but even if we may not always be able to change them (though i always like to think that we can), we can do our best to frame the world in various mindsets, until we find the one that is the both accurate and positive. i like the idea a lot - both as a way to look at ourselves as people, but also at whatever situation we may be stuck in. it always leaves room for improvement, and thus for us to be on the up-and-up.

i like that :)